page 12

 Xylopoop's Surgery


Dr Xylo' showed us into his surgery where there was some really weird music playing, it sounded like an orchestra falling down the stairs of some large, echoy public toilet! I liked it very much indeed!

 Heidi and I began to dance all over the floor, punching the other patients in the waiting room as we did, and poking the eyes out of various Pixies and Elves, as well as the odd garden gnome. Heidi was having a great time, slashing the slippers off of the pet Lizard and Monkey, while, simultaneously, puncturing holes in the clown's overalls and stitching earmuffs onto her uncle's teddy bear.


.... after a cup of Gonad-Grass soup, we explained our dilemma to the doctor, the removal of the key, as painlessly as possible! or "I'll poke yer Budgie's eyes out!" I warned.........

.... Xylo' became very serious, just like any other doctor I knew, his University level of professionalism showing in his voice and actions, his voice deepened, eyes frowned, .... he seemed very concerned,..... he did love his budgie very much after all.

 " Let me have a look at your arm my child" he whispered, as he guided her gently to the examination couch; a fine old dark brown leather 'Chesterfield' -- soft, and comfortable, with a beautiful engraved and carved Oakwood table by it's side. To the left, behind the headrest, a chromium light-fitting on a stand, very complicated looking, and obviously capable of moving in any direction. He switched it on and moved it over her head till it's unusual reddish glow lit up the underside of her arm, which I held gently in my oven-gloved hands. The curoius red glow had the wonderful effect of making the skin of her arm appear transparent almost! so that we could clearly see the shape of the key,.....

 .........a "Chubb Lock" type, with the number '6' engraved!

 "A simple anaethstetic, followed by some minor surgery, is all that is needed" the doctor said, "...it's simple!" he murmered, rather proudly I thought.

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